How to be a terrible lecturer
A few handy hints on how to bore your students to tears:
There is no way of escaping a boring lecture once you’re in there…
1) Write a six thousand word monologue on Microsoft word, put it in size 28 font and project it onto the big screen.
2) Proceed to read out your carefully crafted piece of enthralling literature for the entirety of an hour.
3) Begin your lecture at 9 o’clock in the morning when you know your students will be the most alert.
4) Make sure you scroll through your monologue with a slight delay. Try and make it more difficult for your audience to catch up with what you’re saying.
5) Upload this dissertation to the student portal afterwards so that the students realise that there was no point in attending your stupidly early lecture.